CES gave us many interesting things to look at, from 4K TV’s to touch table PC’s- that we actually wanted. Amongst all of this existed some products that simply left us cold, and since we had to endure the overexcited ramblings of the creators we thought we’d share our displeasure with you.
Image Credit: WXYZ
We get that toilet training is difficult. We know parents want to catch up on the Real Housewives and not sit by the toilet shouting encouragement, but an iPotty- really? Created by CTA Digital this allows the kid (aged 6 months to 3 years) to go wee wee whilst playing Angry Birds. Yes, the iPad is encased behind a touchscreen protector (protecting from number 1 and number 2) and the re is a splashguard but.. but… Yes, I just haven’t got the words to start talking about this. Have a think. You have a lovely iPad. You have a lovely child. Why not send them off together and see what happens? Add to that the fact that you’re giving them a terrible training for later life, the iPotty is just wrong on all counts. Did I mention it can be an activity seat AS WELL AS A POTTY? No comment.
Polaroid No Shows
The Bluetooth speakers displayed at the Polaroid booth were very attractive. Available in a rainbow of colors and various shapes and styles- small, foldable, retro style- they all lacked one vital component: Any kind of pricing, release date or real information. Anyone can create a pretty shell, but teasing us with something and then saying, ‘that’s all folks’ gets the definite thumbs down from us.
iMassage devices were big at CES 2013 and the team were partial to a couple- see our iDream Eye and Head Massager moment if you don’t believe me. However, we can’t get on board the production of the iMusic BodyRhythm which looks like you’re wearing a toilet seat on your head. The iMusic BodyRhythm syncs with your music and gives you a massage in tume with the beat, using a syncing algorithm. It might be a good massage, but can you really see yourself wearing this? Pass.
HapiLabs HAPIFork for Weight loss
Overeating and eating too quickly can lead to flabby stomachs and a desire to avoid mirrors. In an attempt to help you, the HAPIFork electronic fork monitors when you eat and indicator lights glow if you’re moving the fork too fast. Think that old adage- chew your food thirty times and you’ll see what it’s aiming at. The Hapifork measures how long each meal lasts and the intervals between bites and this can be uploaded via Bluetooth or USB to a dashboard that lets you see the stats.
The issue is, that you might know when you’re overeating- hello binge time- and having a fork incessantly flash is going to end up with it thrown across the room, skewing the data. This might be a good idea for those who are watching their weight, but it falls into the same line as the other weight loss products- the mini cutlery that lets you eat smaller bites, the diet plate that has sections, etc. Points for whoever is brave enough/ dumb enough to take this to a restaurant. $100 later this year.
The QuantumVet Tricorder Plus sounds like a great idea- a way to treat your pet at home, the power of a vet via wireless. Dig a little deeper though, and you realize that the device is a little strange as its powered by an external company which opens a ‘portal’ into the brain of your pet. Yes, really. You can then open the related program packs and send them to your pets neural pathways to treat them. Treatment can be ‘sent’ multiple times a day, and you pay $30 for six portals which can be accessed via a computer. Leave your skepticism at the door, and go meet that Nubian Prince right away. Quantum Vet
Spike Type Smart Keyboards for Cellphones
Remember the iTwinge? You probably don’t because it was one of those products that never happened. Probably due to the fact that every tech blog at the time slammed it to bits and pieces. Well if the iTwinge had come to pass we think it would have looked like this – theSpike Type. Spike Type Smart Keyboards let you send your cell back to the dark ages with a attachable keyboard to fit your device to allow ‘real typing’ on your beloved iPhone. Their slogan is Making the iPhone as easy to type on as it is to touch’. Great- if it’s that easy, what problem does this solve? Brain melt down.